Draft Day

Since everyone else gets to do it, why can't Solotarian Views Sports, right. So here it is, our predictions.

(1) Cleveland - LeBron James - No dizzout. My prediction for 2004 - LBJ will score 20 a game and play little D for a 20 win team. Those of you from the D will recognize this affliction as the "Barry Sanders Effect."

(2) Detroit - Darko Milicic - May not win rookie of the year (see pick 3) but is the final piece of the puzzle that puts the Pissies back in the finals '89 style.

(3) Denver - Melo Anthony - No question the best player right now in the draft. He'll do everything for a shit team. See Bernard King circa 85 for reference.

(4) Toronto - Pick Traded to Memphis - Chris Bosh - West gets his guy who unfortunately looks like a poor man's Chris Gatling. Who's Chris Gatling? Exactly.

(5) Miami - Maciej Lampe - 7 foot Polish kid. Really how can you go wrong? Miami meet Cleveland. You'll fight for the basement all year long.

(6) LA Clippers - Chris Kamen - Replace useless 7 footer with equally useless 7 footer.

(7) Chicago - TJ Ford - Yeah, I did it. The Duke curse caught up with J Will and I wish him the best, but the Bulls needed a point guard last year even with J Will on the roster. I'm a big TJ fan and I see a little Isiah in him.

(8) Milwaukee - Kirk Hinrich - Will he be ok without his butt buddy Nick Collison? And do the Bucks really need another point? You betcha...

(9) New York - Mike Sweetney - Best player no one's ever heard of. Good all-around player who will add some stability to the NY front court. Why a good pick - quick - name 2 low post guys on the Knicks with any kind of skills. McDyess and....and...and....

(10) Washington - Mickael Pietrus - The French Jordan, huh? A Frenchman and a new Jordan in D.C.? Sounds like a NBA/US Government collaboration.

(11) Golden State - Zarko Cabarkapa - Not to be confused with the other 7 foot Serbian who's game looks a lot like Dirk. Don't be surprised if Joe D. trades Cliff Rob and Williamson to the Warriors and grabs Zarko to form the Eastern Bloc Party in the D front court. Memo, Zarko and Darko - are you kiddin me?

(12) Seattle - Luke Ridnour - Coach reminded the owner that they don't have anything on the roster that resembles a PG, and Sideshow Bob is the best thing left.

(13) Memphis - Pick Traded to Toronto who trade to Milwaukee for Sam Cassell - Nick Collison - Kansas duo kept in tact and all is right in Milwaukee.